Every year we take a look at the worst, most offensive, and poorly thought out mass market costumes available here on the ‘zine! Our most “borrowed” from articles here to date (definitely not bitter about that). Here are the previous 5 years for reference:

Year Five

Year Four

Year Three

Year Two

Year One

So here we go! 😀

Here’s a new one to me “Sexy Pinata“. If you saw this costume at a party would PINATA be the first word in your mind? It looks like Sexy Kindergarden Craft Drawer to me.

I saw *so* many “Sexy First Nations” theme costumes, maybe even more than usual. Seems extra tasteless with everything happening right now politically. What racist knob is sitting in a board room deciding the world needs more “Sexy Native” outfits? It’s 2016. Come on.

SEXY FISH. Okay this costume is so funny to me, and I’m not sure why. You can wear this and flop around in the middle of the road til someone throws a red and white ball at you.

Possibly the saddest horse costume in the world. Look at it’s face, even the fake horse face looks disappointed in himself.

This is genuinely terrifying. Groping Corpse and Lady Lampshade? Public Transit on Friday 11pm? I think it was supposed to be some play on magicians but it’s kind of sloppy and also there’s a corpse stapled to that poor lady’s back….

Get it?!!! He’s a Human Toilet! Which you already knew before he had the costume!!!! You flash him a weak thumb’s up and hurry off. Maybe now you’ve acknowledged his costume he can stop chanting “shots shots shots” at you? (I feel sorry for the model who has to pretend to be a dude-bro for all these product photos, I hope they paid him well. I imagine he’s studying formal acting and doesn’t even mention this gig to his friends at school).

This is like those air brushed t-shirts of bikini bodies and things they sell at souvenir shops in every beach town, which inevitably all end up with bbq sauce stains and worn by that one relative you regret sitting near at every family function. It should come with a personalized beer bottle cozy accessory. I don’t understand how it’s a costume though.

Sexy “Babe the Blue Ox” costume and “Sexy Cheshire Cat”. Okay there is NO way I’d have guessed either of those…. Sexy horned blue muppet? Sexy unfortunate fake fur allergy? Sexy Polyester?

Did you know there isn’t a “Sexy” costume section for men? Surprised? Yeah, I didn’t think you’d be surprised….

Let’s all agree to just not make this a punchline anymore. Let’s not use the sexual abuse of children to sell crappy costumes likely made by children.

Super Sperm. I am not sure I would get this costume if I saw it on someone at a party… I’d assume it was some anime thing I didn’t know. “Oh….huh, do you know where the bathroom is?”.

Okay does anyone else remember those singing rubber fish? The 90s were a really strange time. We were so earnest, so easily entertained. A rubber fish on a plastic board delighted us to no end.

Okay this is also fucking terrifying. Pervert Humps Disgruntled Nan? If he wears a wolf mask inside the baby’s bonnet it might be less scary.

Linguini and meatballs costume…………….Doesn’t he know no one eats carbs anymore? (Kidding, pass the bread please).

Feel free to comment and let me know which of these are your favorites! Have you seen any truly horrible costume ideas this year?

Happy Almost Halloween everyone!!!!!!!

-Taeden