As is the tradition, every year here on the Gloomthzine we post the worst of the worst in Halloween costumes! The lamest, most offensive, most awful costume shop costumes we can find for sale.
“Spicy Womens Taco Dress” this was called. Meaning it’s only for spicy women, sorry those of you in the “mild” category. Also it’s a taco costume on a woman. Maybe her friend will dress as a clam! Or a beaver….
Some kind of mummy or silk worm farm accident? Toilet paper-ed man? Apparently this is a “Tornado Costume” according to the site. Um okay, we believe you, please stop knocking all the drinks off of the table to demonstrate.
“Sexy Gizmo”. Now why does a gremlin have to be sexy!? Gizmo is not sexy! And also when was Gremlins even relevant? I was 1 when the first movie came out. This costume is basically the same as every mass market woman’s costume available- the word “sexy” in front of any theme or object or culture. That or a Coke logo plastered on a skin tight mini dress.
Spoon. Sort of. I guess?
There were so many costumes in the online shops that were just really gross and sexist. Obviously pitched by the members of their teams who were probably around when you could smoke in your office and called your secretary “sweetie” instead of her name. The above “Anita Waxing” costume is a prime example of this- funny to the type of person who also thinks poo jokes are funny, and is not 3. Pubic hair happens, get over it. Also there were a zillion “fat suits” and “fat lady” costumes! What the &*$%!? How is it in 2014 we are still using fat people as a punchline?
Or you can be racist AND body-shaming by wearing the Hula-dancer puke pile of a costume above! Siiiiigh.
Why use fat people as a punchline when referencing your genitals is still funny? Okay maybe because they aren’t that funny. Right, your dick, ha- ha- ha- I need to go over there now and get a drink, no don’t follow me.
Merry Christmas! Oh yeah, you’re going to looooove wearing that costume all night. People will have to feed you drinks with a straw and you’ll be so hobbled by your present-feet your friends will just leave you somewhere with bus fare taped to your wrinkled tinsel.
A fried egg, I wonder if it has that horrible smell eggs give off when you cook them? Realistic Stinky Egg Smell!
The last 3 rounds of Bad Costumes can be seen here: