Time for another installment of our very popular BAD COSTUMES round up!!!! This is when we relentlessly and cruelly mock mass-market costumes that are terrible, unrecognizable, or offensive.

If you’d like to read the other 4 years worth of these I’ll post the links below:

Year One

Year Two

Year Three

Year Four

Onto the costumes!

“Naked Hillbilly”. Why the hell does this exist? Why is a naked hillbilly even a costume? If I saw this at a party I’d be really confused as to what it was supposed to be other than a naked dude with a pixelated crotch. Naked prison man with bandanna? Naked sock wearing man? Also ew.

“Freshman 15”. Oh I’m so glad that fat people- especially fat women- are still a punchline for dipsh*ts everywhere (not). I could probably fill an entire post with fat-phobic costumes from these big stores, but this particular one was a new to me- a fat college girl. It could also double as “drunk pregnant girl”, which is also offensive. Gross.

“Meat”. For that ONE person left in the world who isn’t sick of bacon-themed-everything there is now a bacon costume. Amusing that they think this individual would have a partner to also dress as meat. Bonus points for the ladies’ costume being yet another “sexy” dress with a dumb print on it, way to maintain the status quo costume company.

It’s Boobs. Boobs, get it? Get it?! G-e-t-i-t?!! 

Condom. This would only be funny if you were going to a work party and your employer is planned parenthood or a sexual health clinic. The rest of the time it’s just worn by the dude who won’t leave your table at the bar.

This was titled “Sexy Lusty Indian Maiden”. It’s 2015 and someone still thinks this is okay. Also there were about 40 other versions of this theme on every costume website I went to. I want to know how many people have to approve a costume before it is entered into production. How many people had to say “yes, good call” to the sea of sexy-Aboriginal costumes in order for this to be made?

Mail Order Bride. Hey, 90% of the costumes for women are just a skin tight dress with some logo printed on it, at least they *tried* with this one (oh right it’s a sexy dress with something printed on it…sigh). It has a hat though! I just feel like you’d be explaining it to people all night. “Are you a letter?” “Do people even mail letters anymore”?

“Happy Mouse Hottie” was the name of this one. I mean, yeah it sort of has mouse ears but what is it supposed to be exactly? Looks like a stripper killed and dismembered Mickey Mouse….

Swimsuit. It’s a friggen bathing suit. It just is. If your Halloween takes place in a pool, great, otherwise why are you wearing a swimsuit? We can all agree the mermaid thing has gone to bacon-levels of tiresome. No more mermaids please.

Foot. This would be far more amusing if his partner were dressed as a giant mouth. I like that it even has hairy toes….

That’s it for this year’s Bad Costume Round Up! We did our best to pick costumes we haven’t featured for this yet, or ones that weren’t obvious targets.

Happy Almost Halloween!

-Taeden