Holy heck I’ve been rounding up the bad costumes every year for 13 years now! In 13 years have there been fewer bad costumes? No! There’s always new and terrible costumes for sale. So let’s laugh at them together as part of one of my favorite annual traditions. 🙂

As always I’m rounding up mass-market costumes (not stuff from impendent artists/sellers). If you’d like to see the ones from the previous years here they are:

Year Eleven

Year Ten

Year Nine

Year Eight

Year Seven

Year Six

Year Five

Year Four

Year Three

Year Two

Year One

In no particular order here are my favorite Bad Costumes of 2023!!!!!!!

Sad and Surprised Black Blob- It’s a bowling ball…… Why does it look so sad? Am I projecting? When I first saw this costume I thought it must be from a cartoon or something I wasn’t familiar with, no just a bowling ball. Huh.

LET’S GO CEILING!– This took me like five minutes to figure out. Glass ceiling? Is this a pay equity thing? No, she’s a fan of the ceiling fan…? Or maybe just the ceiling. I don’t know, it doesn’t really work if you have to explain it to everyone at the party.

Marginally a Cookie- It sort of reads as a spotted dog but also a cocktail waitress in Vegas? Dog cocktail bar? It looks real itchy either way. This was sent to me by Fine Lines!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!! Woman laughing alone with salad, except she IS the salad (or so the costume company claims). I don’t know, it sure looks like a terribly failed Xmas tree to me….

Brown Unrecognizable Blobs! Couples costume idea- be two completely vague weird costumes that no one will recognize. Are they bread? A balled up tortilla? Dominoes game piece?

Banned From The Furry Convention- Worst fursuit, lamentably bad. Would not fuck.

Early 2000’s in the Bad Way– The early 2000’s had some really special aesthetic options, weird tattoo style “edgy” graphics everywhere with roses or butterflies splattered on top was definitely a thing. Now this stuff just looks outdated and very etsy to me (in a bad way), it hasn’t yet come around to being vintage/cool again quite yet.

Unfortunate Sunburn– This isn’t a costume it’s a cry for aloe vera gel.

Ha Ha Normal Job While Fat- Referee but it’s funny cuz of his bum? Apparently we’re still making fat suits in 2023. How unfunny do you need to be to think fat is still a punchline? Weak.

Chick’En- You just know your feathery boobs are gonna be shedding white bits all evening. This is barely a chicken. This is an uncomfortable polyester club dress with weird spikey fans glued to it and a bad feather duster bra situation. Just no. I get it, you want to feel pretty in your costume, but this one just sucks.

Lazy Billboard- I don’t know why these branded costumes bug me so much. Something about wearing a corporation’s LOGO all night on Halloween is just so deeply sad and grim. A walking stumbling billboard. We have truly jumped the capitalism shark with this shit.

Born In the Wagon of a Travelling Show- I don’t know if this is a “gypsy” costume (hi, let’s not keep making slur costumes) or just the world’s ugliest spirit board. You will for sure be cursed if you wear this either way.

P*nis Trauma– This doesn’t look like a jellyfish, it looks like a late night emergency room visit where someone has to sheepishly explain what they did to themselves….

And this one just made me laugh. He looks so happy too!

Happy Halloween everyone!!!!

-Tae