(Taeden in photo may not represent actual Taeden’s mood)
Every year I usually post a big essay discussing my Halloween costumes that season! I spend ages preparing costumes and having fun creating a different version of myself, and it’s neat to see those ideas inspire other people later on. This year was a bit different. We did a huge show in September and then just kept going at full speed after that, with our Candy Party, and shoots, the fall just got really overwhelming.
I don’t have any good costume photos, I didn’t even have a second to really plan a costume since I was so swamped preparing for FanExpo and managing the regular craziness of fall at the ‘Cult. I dressed up for the Candy Party and threw together costumes for parties/events but none were planned and none were documented. I was also very depressed.
I don’t really talk about illness here, it’s kind of a downer and I don’t want to use the negative aspects of my life to drive blog attention, but I also think acknowledging that depression and illness effect our lives is important. Behind the glowing veil of social media people live actual lives, with actual messes. Talking about it helps break down the shame associated with mental illness. This fall the combination of complete exhaustion from pushing myself too hard and a (not uncommon) swing of depression really knocked me down. I barely celebrated Halloween and I wasn’t really in a headspace to enjoy it (or anything). So there aren’t any clever costume photos to share because I was just not up to it. I’m feeling quite a bit better now, at last, and always working to find new ways to manage being unwell and doing all the things on my lists.
You can be an incredibly hard working person and still get depressed, you can still sink even when things are going “right”. It’s not a personal failing to be ill. It’s not under your control and you aren’t “weak” for not being fine 100% of the time. You don’t have to fake being positive for people, those that love you will understand and will wait til the clouds lift.
Take care of yourselves. 🙂