I debated long and hard about whether to write about this here. On one hand it seems almost inappropriate to discuss personal (as in non Gloomth related) experiences in this venue (and opens me up for personal internet bullying, heh), but on another Gloomth is part of my soul and it’s friends are therefore friends of mine (so you should know what’s going on with me). I also think it’s good to be “human” and vulnerable and real in such a public way, so that there’s a person behind the curtain and whatnot. So here goes.

Last week I lost a dear friend. My cat of 20 years, whom you might recognize from our contact page as the Box Inspector, Smokey Josephine Patlova quietly passed away while I was out of town for Thanksgiving. It was not a surprise, she was very old and slowing down recently, she died in her favorite sleeping spot (not a box). I got to say my goodbyes before leaving for the weekend, as I honestly had a feeling it was imminent (funny how that is).

It’s been very sad, to say the least. She has always been in my life, has been the steadfast friend and companion through every life change and experience. She was there before I had adult teeth, there on the first day of highschool, when I went to university she came along, through my marriage, through my divorce. It’s so strange to not see her in my apartment now.

I am immensely grateful for my years with her, for her quiet grace and limitless patience. For tolerating my efforts to dress her when I was a child and for every night she hogged the pillows in bed. I am glad her death was not drawn out or painful. I look forward to someday being able to help another cat by providing a home for it and a companion for Atticus (my other lovely feline). But right now neither he nor I are anywhere near ready for that. She will always be present in my heart and memory.

It is truly amazing how deeply an animal can affect your life. Smokey taught me so much, and gave me so much, and was truly an ideal friend. I encourage anyone considering it to adopt a pet, there are so many beautiful loving animals out there who need help and care.


Petfinder.com (my parents found both their dog and cat through this website!)

Toronto Cat Rescue (local volunteer run organization for cats)

There are also volunteer operated and no-kill facilities located all over, they are a great place for finding your next friend and often have resources for affordable vet care etc.


10 thoughts on “Loss

  1. *Hugs gently*
    I’m so sorry for your loss, dear one.
    My dear Callie-cat is 17, and I can feel her slowing down.

    Ms. Pavlova is lucky to have had a mama like you.

  2. I’m already stressing about the day when my beloved cat will pass away 😦 I hope you feel better…one suggestion would be to actually throw a party to celebrate your memories! 🙂

  3. This made me so sad. I Have always had cats, and have two beautiful kitties now, and they’re family, best friends, confidants…You must be utterly heartbroken. I hope you and Atticus can pull through and be strong together. Lots of love and hugs.


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